That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
