I am spending my child support on dildos
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
