If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
