The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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