she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
