Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
