If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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