Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize