The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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