Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
