whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
