dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
did i just pee glitter
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
