babies were throwing up all over the place
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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