we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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