I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
