What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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