is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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