He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
