Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
