took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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