So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
