week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
