We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
