To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
