i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
