i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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