Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
i out mim tonsoeep
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