I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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