You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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