I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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