ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
