Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
