i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry my hands just texted you
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Randomize