Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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