I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
