just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I wear drunk well.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
