he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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