i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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