He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
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