this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
