at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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