That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
someone owes me an orgasm
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
