Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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