I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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