I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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