drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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