Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
