whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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