Your mouth is God's brothel.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
