you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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