Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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