when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
