Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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