We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
40s are totally the cure
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
