You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests đ
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing âHappy Birthdayâ to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, âWhy didnât you sing along?!?â I responded, âI donât know him. I donât give a shit if he has a happy birthday.â
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