I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
