Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I touched a dick in church today
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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