I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
