i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize