I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
