it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
